RovinGeek’s predictions for next week’s Mobile World Congress

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We wish we were in sunny Barcelona for the Mobile World Congress, happening from the 16th to the 19th this month. While the other three would be gawking at the fine specimens of womankind over there, I’d be more interested in harassing the nearest Nokia rep for a touch-and-feel of the N97.

But let’s take a short break from all the Nokia love we’ve been giving. How about all the other mobile phone makers? What would they be doing?

First, I predict there’ll be less swag. Economic downturn, don’t ya know?

Second, Samsung will again, attempt to impress with phones that curiously remind you of phones we’d seen…from someone else. Sigh.

Thirdly, mobile phone geeks will squeal like fangirls at what promises to be a bumper crop of new mobiles. LG and Samsung have already triumphantly paraded their new models to the press, ahead of the conference. The two phonemakers are notorious for fiercely incredibly competitive where the other’s concerned. Over here, whenever possible, they’ll even try to launch their phones on the very same day to see who can get the most media to attend.

Fourth: if Motorola still hasn’t come up with a new, stupendously awesome handset by next week, we’re predicting that the next time is NEVER. Yes, NEVER. What the heck are its engineers doing? Playing with games on the iPHone? Guess I must have answered my own question.

Fifth: Sony Ericsson will trundle out more boringly bland new models that look suspiciously alike…like last year’s. Because SE spent all its creativity on the Xperia but made the wrong choice for an OS.

Sixth: The Nokia N97 will probably still be the handset equivalent of Best In Show.

My wishlist for MWC:

1. To Nokia: You people had better come up with more apps for 5th Edition! And the Nokia 5800! And soon!

2. To Sony Ericsson: Your designs – they bore us. Though we enjoyed mocking you mercilessly for having the Xperia run Windows Mobile. Please to make more shiny Xenon-flash carrying cameraphones to help Nokia get a clue.

3. To Samsung: 12 megapixels does not make a great phone. Really. But keep making your Blackjacks. They’re almost as sexy as the E71 and far cooler than BlackBerries. Really.

4. To LG: Thank you for not making any more food-themed phones. And if there are plans for more, SHELVE THEM.

5. To Motorola: Come up with a decent handset next week or just do the rest a favour by just disposing your assets quickly. Why let yourself suffer needless pain?

6. To Apple: You know, an iPhone Nano really isn’t a bad idea.

7. To Google: Malaysia can has G1? No? Fine. Be that way.

8. To LiMo: Please have handsets that make the G1 look far inferior. We’re tired of waiting already.

9. To Microsoft: Fix the bloat in Windows Mobile already. Whatever Nokia says, mobile phones are not computers! They have less memory! Less graphic capabilities! Less internal storage space! Take those things into account for once! And Windows 7 Mobile sounds really, really good. We await the beta keys to that with bated breath.

10. To Palm: Welcome back.